Jump! Read online

  JUMP!

  JILLY COOPER

  Contents

  Cover

  Title

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Also by Jilly Cooper

  Map

  Cast of Characters

  The Animals

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  Chapter 52

  Chapter 53

  Chapter 54

  Chapter 55

  Chapter 56

  Chapter 57

  Chapter 58

  Chapter 59

  Chapter 60

  Chapter 61

  Chapter 62

  Chapter 63

  Chapter 64

  Chapter 65

  Chapter 66

  Chapter 67

  Chapter 68

  Chapter 69

  Chapter 70

  Chapter 71

  Chapter 72

  Chapter 73

  Chapter 74

  Chapter 75

  Chapter 76

  Chapter 77

  Chapter 78

  Chapter 79

  Chapter 80

  Chapter 81

  Chapter 82

  Chapter 83

  Chapter 84

  Chapter 85

  Chapter 86

  Chapter 87

  Chapter 88

  Chapter 89

  Chapter 90

  Chapter 91

  Chapter 92

  Chapter 93

  Chapter 94

  Chapter 95

  Chapter 96

  Chapter 97

  Chapter 98

  Chapter 99

  Chapter 100

  Chapter 101

  Chapter 102

  Chapter 103

  Chapter 104

  Chapter 105

  Chapter 106

  Chapter 107

  Chapter 108

  Chapter 109

  Chapter 110

  Chapter 111

  Chapter 112

  Chapter 113

  Chapter 114

  Chapter 115

  Chapter 116

  Chapter 117

  Chapter 118

  Chapter 119

  Chapter 120

  Chapter 121

  Chapter 122

  Chapter 123

  Chapter 124

  Chapter 125

  Chapter 126

  Chapter 127

  Chapter 128

  Chapter 129

  Chapter 130

  Chapter 131

  Chapter 132

  Chapter 133

  Chapter 134

  Chapter 135

  Chapter 136

  Chapter 137

  Chapter 138

  Chapter 139

  Chapter 140

  Chapter 141

  Chapter 142

  Chapter 143

  Chapter 144

  Chapter 145

  Chapter 146

  Chapter 147

  Chapter 148

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

  Version 1.0

  Epub ISBN 9781409044505

  www.randomhouse.co.uk

  TRANSWORLD PUBLISHERS

  61–63 Uxbridge Road, London W5 5SA

  A Random House Group Company

  www.rbooks.co.uk

  First published in Great Britain

  in 2010 by Bantam Press

  an imprint of Transworld Publishers

  Copyright © Jilly Cooper 2010

  Jilly Cooper has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

  This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of historical fact, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  ISBNs 9780593061534 (cased)

  9780593061541 (tpb)

  This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition, including this condition, being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

  Addresses for Random House Group Ltd companies outside the UK can be found at: www.randomhouse.co.uk

  The Random House Group Ltd Reg. No. 954009

  The Random House Group Limited supports the Forest Stewardship Council (FSC), the leading international forest-certification organization. All our titles that are printed on Greenpeace-approved FSC-certified paper carry the FSC logo. Our paper procurement policy can be found at www.rbooks.co.uk/environment

  Typeset in 11/12pt New Baskerville by Falcon Oast Graphic Art Ltd.

  Printed and bound in Great Britain by CPI Mackays, Chatham, ME5 8TD

  2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1

  To my daughter-in-law Edwina Cooper and my son-in-law Adam Tarrant with love and gratitude for the immense kindness and encouragement they gave me while writing this book.

  Also by Jilly Cooper

  FICTION

  Riders

  Rivals

  Polo

  The Man Who Made Husbands

  Jealous

  Appassionata

  Score!

  Pandora

  Wicked!

  NON-FICTION

  Animals in War

  Class

  How to Survive Christmas

  Hotfoot to Zabriskie Point (with

  Patrick Lichfield)

  Intelligent and Loyal

  Jolly Marsupial

  Jolly Super

  Jolly Superlative

  Jolly Super Too

  Super Cooper

  Super Jilly

  Super Men and Super Women

  The Common Years

  Turn Right at the Spotted Dog

  Work and Wedlock

  Angels Rush In

  Araminta’s Wedding

  CHILDREN’S BOOKS


  Little Mabel

  Little Mabel’s Great Escape

  Little Mabel Saves the Day

  Little Mabel Wins

  ROMANCE

  Bella

  Emily

  Harriet

  Imogen

  Lisa & Co

  Octavia

  Prudence

  ANTHOLOGIES

  The British in Love

  Violets and Vinegar

  CAST OF CHARACTERS

  WOODY ADAMS

  A delectable Willowwood tree surgeon.

  EDWARD ALDERTON

  Rupert Campbell-Black’s nineteen-year-old American grandson, a gilded brat and former flat jockey who’s spending a year at his grandfather’s yard in England to try his luck at National Hunt racing.

  PARIS ALVASTON

  Dora Belvedon’s boyfriend and ice-cool Adonis, now in Upper Sixth at Bagley Hall and dickering between Cambridge and RADA.

  ANGEL

  The youngest stable lass at Marius Oakridge’s yard, Throstledown.

  ARIELLA

  The new young mistress of Bluebell Hill.

  CHRISTOPHER AND CHRISTINE ASHBY

  Known as Chris and Chrissie. Landlord and lady of the Fox, Willowwood’s pub.

  SETH BAINTON

  Drop-dead gorgeous actor, known as Mr Bulging Crotchester, who with his considerably older and more famous mistress, actress Corinna Waters, lives part of the year in Willowwood in a house inappropriately called the Old Rectory. Seth and Corinna have an open partnership.

  SAMPSON BANCROFT

  A hugely successful field marshal of industry specializing in property and engineering. A charismatic shit, whose failing health in no way diminishes his ability to bully and control.

  ETTA BANCROFT

  Sampson’s delightful but dreadfully downtrodden wife.

  MARTIN BANCROFT

  Sampson and Etta’s self-regarding son, who gives up the City in favour of fundraising with a celebrity-tapping bias. Has houses in Chiswick and Willowwood.

  ROMY BANCROFT

  Martin’s even smugger wife, who makes a fetish about being a stay- at-home mum. Despite enchanting looks, an egomaniac.

  DRUMMOND BANCROFT

  Martin and Romy’s fiendish five-year-old son.

  POPPY BANCROFT

  Martin and Romy’s four-year-old applause junkie.

  CARRIE BANCROFT

  Martin’s sister. Workaholic – hugely successful in the City, a failure as a wife and mother. Prefers to be known by her maiden name but in reality is Mrs Alan Macbeth. Houses in Knightsbridge and Willowwood.

  BERTIE AND RUBY BARACLOUGH

  Bedding billionaire and his jolly wife. A devoted couple and very new racehorse owners.

  DORA BELVEDON

  Fifteen-year-old smart cookie. Besotted with horses, dogs and Paris Alvaston. Has a somewhat dubious ability to flog stories to the national press, redeemed by an extremely kind heart.

  LESTER BOLTON

  As short in inches as he is on charm. Internet tycoon specializing in porn. Has recently acquired romantic Primrose Cottage in Willowwood.

  CINDY BOLTON

  Lester’s child bride, an extremely successful porn star.

  BRUNHILDA

  An Animal Rights activist. JOHNNIE BRUTUS A narcissistic Irish jockey.

  RUPERT CAMPBELL-BLACK

  Owner/trainer who bestrides the racing world like a colossus. Despite being in his mid-fifties, still Mecca for most women.

  TAGGIE CAMPBELL-BLACK

  His enchanting second wife, an angel.

  XAVIER CAMPBELL-BLACK

  Rupert and Taggie’s adopted Colombian son – a point-to-point rider.

  BIANCA CAMPBELL-BLACK

  Rupert and Taggie’s ravishing adopted Colombian daughter, best friend of Dora Belvedon.

  ABERDARE ‘DARE’ CATSWOOD

  A complacent, handsome amateur jockey with a very rich father.

  JAMIE CATSWOOD

  Dare’s brother, later pupil assistant to Harvey-Holden.

  BLUEY CHARTERIS

  Rupert Campbell-Black’s retained jockey, about to retire – every jockey in the land wants his job.

  COLLIE

  Marius Oakridge’s long-suffering head lad.

  LADY CROWE (NANCY)

  Martinet, MFH (Master of Fox Hounds) and Marius Oakridge’s most loyal owner.

  MAJOR NORMAN CUNLIFFE

  Retired bank manager who has wormed his way on to every committee in Willowwood. Closet letch, despite respectable exterior.

  DEBBIE CUNLIFFE

  The Major’s wife. A bossyboots and madly competitive gardener. Known as Direct Debbie because of her appalling lack of tact.

  JOEY EAST

  A wonderful builder and jack of all trades. Part of the Terrible Trio syndicate with Woody and Jase, Joey has just landed a plum job masterminding the complete gutting and rebuilding of Valent Edwards’s house, Badger’s Court.

  MARY EAST

  Known as Mop Idol, Joey’s very comely wife who cleans for the Travis-Locks and Seth and Corinna when they’re down in Willowwood.

  VALENT EDWARDS

  Brusque but intensely charismatic widower and a man of the people in his middle sixties. Ex-Premier League goalkeeper remembered for his legendary save in Cup Final. Leaving football, his hawk-like goalkeeper’s eyes have found gaps in every market, making him a major player on the world stage. Valent has caused huge excitement in Willowwood, buying the big house, Badger’s Court.

  TILDA FLOOD

  The village schoolmistress – excellent and loving primary teacher, whose pretty face is ruined by very buck teeth. Gagging for marriage and a family, Tilda has developed a passion for Shagger Simmons, Willowwood’s beast of a bachelor.

  NIALL FORBES

  Vicar of St James’s, Willowwood. In despair over his dwindling congregation and as yet undisclosed fondness for his own sex. Niall is drinking rather too much of his parishioners’ sherry.

  DENNY FORRESTER

  Harvey-Holden’s embattled head lad.

  MARTI GLUCKSTEIN

  Rupert Campbell-Black’s red-hot lawyer.

  CRAIG GREEN

  The village leftie – Green by name and Green by nature.

  RALPH HARVEY-HOLDEN

  A controversial, networking trainer, whose Ravenscroft yard lies to the north of Willowwood.

  LYSANDER HAWKLEY

  Rupert Campbell-Black’s assistant, brilliant at bringing on horses.

  HINTON

  Etta Bancroft’s gardener at Bluebell Hill.

  JOSH

  Handsome stable lad working for Marius Oakridge.

  RAFIQ KHAN

  A magnificently moody Pakistani with matchless looks and militant tendencies. After a stint in prison for suspected terrorism, where he learns to love and look after racehorses, Rafiq is trying to make it as a jockey.

  BILLY LLOYD-FOXE

  Ex-Olympic showjumper and much loved BBC sports correspondent.

  JANEY LLOYD-FOXE

  Billy’s wife, a totally unprincipled journalist.

  AMBER LLOYD-FOXE

  Billy and Janey’s ravishing daughter. A cool beauty determined to make it in National Hunt racing, where she is encountering bias against women jockeys.

  ALAN MACBETH

  Carrie Bancroft’s husband. His talent as a writer is somewhat dissipated by a thirst for alcohol, only equalled by a taste for winners. Alan’s unsung skills as a househusband, on the other hand, have contributed hugely to Carrie’s success.

  TRIXIE MACBETH

  Carrie Bancroft and Alan Macbeth’s long-legged teenage daughter, disastrously lacking in parental attention and totally aware of her overwhelming sex appeal.

  OLD MRS MALMESBURY

  Willowwood biddy who saves badgers and habitually gets the wrong end of the stick.

  MICHAEL MEAGAN

  One of Rupert Campbell-Black’s stable lads.

  MICHELLE

  A seductive, scheming stable lass at M
arius Oakridge’s yard.

  SILAS ‘SHADE’ MURCHIESON

  Sexy but shady arms dealer and owner with more than twenty horses in training and definitely something of the night about him.

  NUALA

  An Animal Rights heroine.

  ‘KILLER’ O’KAGAN

  King of the Irish jockeys, who rules the weighing room, goes brutally to work on horses with great success and has no scruples whatsoever.

  MARIUS OAKRIDGE

  An obsessive, brilliant trainer, who bonds with horses but woefully lacks the small talk necessary to charm owners. Marius’s yard, Throstledown, is to the south of Willowwood.

  OLIVIA OAKRIDGE

  Marius’s wife and, to many, the only good thing about Marius. Olivia’s charm makes up for her husband’s lack of diplomacy as she works her backside off cherishing horses, stable jockeys and owners.

  INDIA OAKRIDGE

  Marius and Olivia’s five-year-old daughter.

  BLANCHE OSBORNE

  Sampson Bancroft’s maîtresse-en-titre.

  BASIL OSBORNE

  Blanche’s complaisant husband.

  JOYCE PAINSWICK

  Formerly Hengist Brett-Taylor’s dragon of a secretary at Bagley Hall, retired to a cottage in Willowwood and missing school life dreadfully.

  JASON (JASE) PERRY

  A farrier who mostly shoes race-horses, consequently best gossip and worst tipster in the world. Partner of Woody Adams and Joey East in a racing syndicate entitled the Terrible Trio, which has a good deal more fun than success.

  HAROLD POCOCK

  Willowwood widower and gardener to Ione Travis-Lock. Runs the allotments, which mean a lot to him, and as Tower Captain rules the St James’s bellringers.

  CHARLIE RADCLIFFE

  Long-suffering vet.

  BONNY RICHARDS

  Valent Edwards’s trophy mistress – a stunning, hugely fancied actress determined to be taken seriously, paranoid about media interest in her sex life and gold-digging ability.